When a sudden death occurs in the family, you are left more shaken and broken than before. Your faith is once more questioned, more so as the person who you have lost is so close to you. You haven't heard of their illness but just to be told there no more. How can it be when they encouraged me to have faith in GOD. To believe and trust in him. It's like you have an anchor to hold to and suddenly, it's broken and you are slipping.

My grief and anger is so huge that I don't know how to express it. The worst thing is when you are so close, you hear their laugh all the time in your heard. You see them when you shut your eyes. This is were you ask again 'WHY ME'. The lord ask, us to have faith. It is the most difficult thing to have and believe in all the time. As in so many ways and times has My faith been rumbled.

This morning, I take my bible and read Hebrews chapter 11: 1 - 2. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report. It is good to read the whole chapter. I tend to reader through it most of the time when I feel nothing makes sense in life. At this point, I ask the good lord to guide me, help me make it another day. Lift me up once more, as I know I am falling. Wipe my tears and make eyes see clearly, comfort me in my darkest moment. Forgive me for doubting you and remove all evil thoughts in my mind. I ask all this in your son's name jesus christ. Amen